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This is a story of a heart, a coward heart
Because it cant handle bad news well
Easily get hurt
And afraid to get up once again

And to overcome that 'heartbreaking' disaster, the brain try to interfere
By resorting to a protective mechanism.
That is,
By fostering the worst ever scenario that could happen. Negative thoughts.
Yeah it works. Sometimes.

And lately,
The heart seems to get a little smarter.
No matter how hard the brain try to foster that worst thoughts
Forcing it to believe that those thoughts  would eventually happened
Things would end badly,in a disaster.
Trying hard to fool it.
So that heart can be prepared.
But despite all that,
The brain seems unable to shake the heart
There's still this thin thread of hope of this innocent heart, trying to convince the brain,
That things will end up just how the brain originally wanted things to end but pretending not to, because brain is too smart
Brain is afraid that the heart will break,get hurt, so it will not listen to heart.
The brain is not easily fooled. Just like the heart, not easily fooled by the brain either.

And to end this unending inner conflict, they both learn to let go, to forget.


But frustrating enough
Letting go and trying to forget is not easy, yet it is almost impossible,
Without a help from time.

Because only time can get brain to forget and heart lose hope.


BGM: Squall by Fukuyama Masaharu

The World That We're Living In

Never once did i realize
That the world we live today is not the same as yesterday's.
It's the world where It's human being are not humane anymore,
They're distorted,
Retarded.
Almost like beast.

Scarred

This post,
I sincerely wrote it
To an old-time friend.
No, an "acquaintance" I would call her now,
She was once
A dear friend of mine.

And I still remember
At the tears I shed.
Kept thinking of the time,
When everything went wrong.

                                                                                       

Dear you,

Yes, you.

You,
Who used to give me smiles
When I had a sad face on.

You,
Who used to give me laughs
When I had sorrow thoughts on my mind.

Never occurred to me once,
That it's You,
Who would be the one.
...
...

Who would turns all our good times
Into the painful ones.

Please be kind

And as I was twisted,
confused.

Is it too much of me,
to ask them.
To understand,
the situation I'm in.

And I beg you,
Please be kind,
To this fragile heart.

Phobic

Never once did i realized
That I've grown to be a person
That afraid of being criticized.

I shivers,
At other's ridicules

And others laugh,
At my adrenaline rush.

And all i could do is cry
At my own loser self.