Thousands Miles Apart

salam

though we are thousands miles apart.
xpe..facebook kan ade...

berFB chat ngan si cilik.aina syakirah.8 tahun.

Syaa Qirah: saalam
Norhafiza Ngah: wasalaaaaam
Syaa Qirah: buat apa?

Norhafiza Ngah: xde buat ape...kirah buat ape? dah pukul 10.30 
Syaa Qirah: x chiting ngan mok ja lah. mok ja balik x bulan 12

Norhafiza Ngah: x...kenape ? ade ape bulan 12?

Syaa Qirah: x cikgu adik nk kahwin nanti. kenapa x balik
Norhafiza Ngah: ooo...cikgu adik.adik pegi la. mokja xyah pegi xpe.
Syaa Qirah: kenapa mok ja x balik?
Norhafiza Ngah: ooo mane ade cuti bulan 12. raya je ade cuti..kenape adik nak mokja balek?
Syaa Qirah: saje boleh duduk ngan mok ja makan kuah cikmik
Norhafiza Ngah: hahaha...kuah cikmik? ape tu?
Syaa Qirah: ye betul
Norhafiza Ngah: ape kuah cikmik?mokja x penah makan pon
Syaa Qirah: kuai cikmak
Norhafiza Ngah: heh? ape tu? xtau pon. hahaha. tunggu mokja balek raya taun depan la makan kuai cikmak ni...
Syaa Qirah: ok bossss
Norhafiza Ngah: hahaha. kirim salam ibu. belajar rajin-rajin
Syaa Qirah: ok bossss. kuih cekmek lah salah ;)
Norhafiza Ngah:  hahaha. ni ibu yang bagitau ke ni?
Syaa Qirah: ye3
Norhafiza Ngah: cekmek ke... hahaha mokja pon teringin la cekmek. lame dah x makan
Syaa Qirah: adik dah makan
Norhafiza Ngah: mane dapat?
Syaa Qirah: ada kat sini
Norhafiza Ngah: pos kat mokja la.hehehe
Syaa Qirah: alah mokja balik lah kenapa orang tu x bagi mok ja balik?
Norhafiza Ngah: hahaha.mane ade orang x bagi mokja balek
Syaa Qirah: yu lah kang dia garang
Norhafiza Ngah: sape yang garang? hahaha. xde cuti kekeke
Syaa Qirah: ye ke?
Norhafiza Ngah: ha ah. yu tu university ke?
Syaa Qirah: ye lah x tahu ke?
Norhafiza Ngah: hahahha mane la mokja nak tahu...oo so yu la yang garang...haaa memang pon garang,xbagi cuti....
Syaa Qirah: yeye.alah x balik ke umah mok tok?
Norhafiza Ngah: x...adik la balek. ganti mokja teman tok
Syaa Qirah: alah mokja lah balik.
 ...
Syaa Qirah: mok ja.bye i:* you. :-*
Norhafiza Ngah: bye.tdo2.i :-* you too.
Syaa Qirah: bye mokja tutup dulu
Norhafiza Ngah: ok ok2. mok ja tutup sekarang. last2. i :-* you. salam
-tutup chat-


and another FB chat with her ends.
this has became routine for me. ye la ni je la cara nk berindu-rinduan ye dhak? hehhee

to adik,
if the yu (university) x garang, dah lame mokja beli tiket flight balek,dgn syarat suh ibu support la. hehe.
miss you too damn much,my sweetie.

kierah - from right.chronological order

above.from right - kierah&mokna.ibu . tok&kierah . ibu&kierah__below.from right - tok&kierah . kierah,ayah&ibu . mokja&kierah

The Chronicles of An Orange-coloured Cat Named Renji

Salam
                                                                                                    

Dalam byk2 kucing yg menetap di rumah Mak Ngah ade seekor kucing,dibg name Renji sbb die oren (orenji=renji). oren head to toe. saling x tumpah mcm garfield.kekeke. Renji membesar dgn sihat oleh jagaan rapi Mak Ngah dan anak bongsunya Pitty. Renji menjadi seekor kucing yg tough bdnnya tp bila kucing liar mau carik gaduh,die awl2 lg dh naek rumah menyorok diblkg tuan die.kekeke. Walau demikian dia sgt disayangi oleh keluarga Mak Ngah.

Malangnya,suatu hari Renji hilang entah kemane. walau ditunggu x pulang2 ke rumah Mak Ngah. Seminggu berlalu ia x juga pulang2. Mak Ngah dan keluarga menganggap si Renji sudah meninggal. Kata org tua2, kalo kucing tinggalkan tuannya, tu tandanya dia nk mati. Tidak mahu mati di hadapan tuan nya. Wallahu'alam lah kesahihannya.

Kisahnya si Renji ini tidak habis di sini shj. Hampir setgh tahun kemudian muncul 2 ekor kucing. Yg menghairankan  keluarga Mak Ngah adalah ke2-2 ekor kucing tersebut berkaler oren! saling x tumpah seperti Renji. Kediaman Mak Ngah bukanlah yg dikelilingi jiran2 yg padat. Rumah kayu di puncak Bukit Nenasi. Amat jrg sekali kucing jiran akn ke rumah Mak Ngah. Dtgnya dua ekor kucing tersebut tanpa segan silu ke dapur dan membaham makanan kucing2 yg mendiami rumah Mak Ngah. Kate Pitty, ank bongsu Mak Ngah: "huh ye wak macang rumoh ye diri. mari2 makang dapo". Maka terlintas la di fikiran si Pitty satu teori berkenaan dua ekor kucing misteri itu dan berkata pada Mak Ngah.: "tah tah ni anok Renji mok ok? Renji tinggal wasiat suruh balek umah tuan ayah dia (yakni Mak Ngah)". Mak Ngah hanya tertawa mendgr kate2 anak bongsunya.

Semenjak hari itu, 2 ekor kucing itu di bg name Renji II dan Oyen (Oren). Renji II diberi kepada yg berbulu oren seluruh badannya sebagai ingatan kepada arwah Renji. hehehe. Maka Renji II dan Oyen menjadi penghuni tetap rumah kayu atas Bukit Nenasi.

-Tammat-

Renji II

Renji II_2

Oyen

Renji I

Renji I_suave in his 'forest' (his forest=semak)

p/s: walaupon susur galur dua kucing oren itu masih tidak pasti dan mungkin tidak akan dikenalpasti, Mak Ngah dan keluarga menjaganya dgn rapi, tiada kurang sedikit pun sbgmnn Renji I dulu dijaga.

---Reader's note---

This story is nearly 99% true except for the conversations and some other trivial things. the storyline remain unchanged.

Update: For those who read my blog about oyen and renji, last night my sister texted me saying that Oyen has died.(T_T)

the PR job has nearly ended

salam..
nothing much to say.sje nk update blog.xpelah kalo xde org bce pon.hehe
and yep yep the PR job almost ended. PR? bkn SR? hehe yelah same la tu keje SR ni xde laen nye pon dgn keje PR. the main job was to propagate or lebih tepat managing the chain of informations,on anything regarded as academic from the university administration to beloved fellow students.dan ade lg side job yg laen xperlu dilistkn kt cni kannn. ;)

the PR job

ok what im trying to say here is,after a year taking this post,what good does it give me? or do i get better?
haha this is not a boasting around session. but i cannot deny that doing this job does do me something good.even if it's not much. especially when it comes to how to work with ppl. PEOPLE.plural not singular. yeah i tell you what doing this job enables u to meet vast variation of different kind of ppl.different preferences.different view and opinion and different need. thus this will make u learn to understand ppl more and start to berfikir secara lebih meluas means ur aspect of seeing things,ur considerations and everything will be more meluas.not just revolve around u like anybody else.so it's a good thing actually.

and not just that,this can also affect your way of judging things and making decisions.im not saying im the best at that at the moment but at least u'll learn to make the best one for everyone and of course not every single of it is the right one.but definitely u've learnt to do it somehow.and actually, later in life u'll find that this kind of skills is quite vital for u to cont living,haha joke2.at least to cont living healthily if u got what i mean.

dealing with ppl really do u good in controlling ur attitude. u'll learn to take things whether the bad ones or  the good one in a proper manner rather than to just act ur way.and that's why u see professional ppl tidak cepat melatah and handle things very wisely and indeed professionally.and again im not saying that im a pro now but at least i've learnt to do it in the best way i can. hummpp (-_-)".

and the job will change hand.and many wouldn't want to do it.many wont. i know it's a big burden plus we already have a massive one which is studying meds.but i once heard a sister telling me this,we actually never know our capacity.our limit.we are like a cup but with an unknown volume capacity.water is being pouring into us but we don't know how much we can take.we never know.only He knows. and actually from my point view,i think that our capacity is actually changing. u can take this amount rite now and after some hurdles and obstacles or hardships,and we're manage to overcome it. accustomed by it and the capacity will change.we may take some more.[you know what,our cup get bigger and bigger!].if you compare the you 5 years ago the you rite now,ponder upon it for a while,do u think that the capacity is still same.not changing?nahh i bet of course it's not the same.and if it is,then actually you're not gaining from ur life,you're just grow old with it.and it's such a waste of ur time.ur own time which you will be asked about in our next chapter of life.the afterlife.

enough babbling.if u believe in Him actually though everything might seems not to be going ur way,then it's ok. u have Him,u always have.Dia tolong hamba yg meminta pertolongan,Dia mengampunkan hamba yg meminta pengampunan.if u think u have had enough and it's too much for u,then call ur lifeline,ask for strength from Him for He is the source of all strength, and everything will be alright inshaAllah biiznillah.
and  pssstt...this lifeline did have no limit! ;)

*dictionary:
capacity: ability to cope with something mainly hardships,obstacles,which is a must in life.a must for u to live a meaningful life.it maybe reflecting ur inner strength.simply said,your self integrity.[this is my aspect of interpreting the word,not taken from any official,literally based source]

wallahu'alam.

i envy u.i hate u?

because all the things that u said is true.

please stop being nice to me too.

because i just cant help it but hating u.

i hate it the most

when u try to boss me around

making me do something that i don't want to.

but indeed it's the thing that i have to do.

i hate it the most,even more than the most

when u try your best to put up with me

this hateful me,

the very hateful me.

and i never appreciate it

the things that you've been doing to me,

because every time you do it,

i just kept hating u more n more,

because i envy u.



i envy the way you make me see
the mistakes in me.

psycho vs strong subconscious mind

salam
                                                                                             

have u ever been thru a situation like this?:

you cannot recall doing something, at all. it's not that you forgot, it's totally something else. it's like you've never did the deed.i have.few days ago.many would not believe.and i don't mind.
and the story goes like this,

it's about a few dollars that a friend would like to lend to me.i refuse.she insist. still i refuse (nicely of course,but this is not the point here)so subconsciously i refuse or don't want the money.then she left that on my study desk.i noticed it.i even picked it and count it and i remember putting it back.on the desk.with the thought "ohh nantilah pk.nk guna ke x." deep inside i did refuse to take it.
and then it's the next morning.i remember about it.the few dollars on my desk.but it's gone. i try to look for it like crazy, here and there everywhere. i even speculate that maybe she took back the few dollars (i know how bad i was at that time and i'm truly sorry) and with other silly speculations like mybe the wind blew them off,or  maybe a thief got into my room and took them(even to this extent) but i never recalled that i gave back the few dollars. i was struck when she came and told me "sampai ati" me: "sampai ati ape?" she:"sampai ati pulangkan duit yg **** bagi" and me, with the expression of the-most-severe-terkejut-beruk-i've-ever-felt i said "sy pulangkan??"
---ok, the story ends here---

what's being my concern is how did this happened? i didnt bluff when i said that i cannot recalled doing such thing,getting the few notes from my room to hers. yet how did the few notes goes to her then? deeply deeply i try to think. and it freak me out when i come to this two possibilities, it's either:
a) my subconscious mind was so strong and so influencing the conscious mind that i happened to do that unintentionally, without any memory of doing it.
conscious mind says: just let the money there think later, vs subconsciously: i refuse to take any money from others.
b)i was a psycho, i did give back the money because subconsciously i refuse to keep it.and i distort reality.so i dont or cant remember doing it.

O_o

                                                                                                                                                                                           
and now, i still cant remember it,even a slightest bit of it.
what have happened to me???

kembar saya

salam
                                                                                                   


tiba-tiba teringat
dekat kembar sy
mungkin sebab dia yang sy paling susah nak jumpa
dan yang paling lama sy tak jumpa
rindu dia
kembar sy

                                                                                                   

kembar sy...@kindergarten
waktu tu sy 4 dia 5
dia nk masuk tadika, sy pon nk msk tadika. maklumla kembar sy.
waktu tu buat semua bende pon same-same. balek pegi sekolah pon same-same.
lari dari rumah pon same-same :D
lepas 2 tahun,sy 6 dia 7. dia kne masuk darjah 1. sy?
sy msk prasekolah.dekat sekolah same.

kembar sy...@secondary school
sy form 1,dia form 2.walopon dh menginjak dewasa,kami masih same-same. masih ke sekolah same-same.
ponteng sekolah sebab nk ke pekan pon same-same.of course terkantoi dengan mak pon same-same.
haha mmg dia kembar sy.
kalo jln dengan dia ke kelas, ade je org akan tanye
"eh eh kembar eh?"
eh? serupa ke ktrg ni? mula-mula jawab je " eh tak la.adik beradik"
tapi kalo dh mcm setiap kali je kne tanye soklan same, ktrg jawab je: " a ah kembar"
haha rindu saat itu.saat kami mmg seperti kembar,kemana saja mesti berdua. ;)

kembar sy...@highschool
sy ke PC, dia form 5.kat sekolah lama sy.
ktrg dh tak selalu buat apa-apa same-same. but the fact that she's kembar sy still not change.
kami kongsi cerita msg-msg.cerita dia di sekolah lama. cerita sy di PC.
semua kami kongsi,dari boyband fave sampai ke first crush puppy love.kekeke

kembar sy...
-birthday dia: 28 Jan.which is just several days after mine.oleh itu, kami salu la berkongsi bday cake yg same. and i always missing it.the moment that we shared.together.
-kembar sy..selalu dibuli.and i was the bully.walopon dia yg tua.tp dia selalu mengalah.dengan kembar dia,yg muda.hehe
-kembar sy..suka pakai skirt,rambut panjang.sgt kontra dengan kembar dia.
-kembar sy..dalam hati ada taman.kalo tgk movie touching sket,satu baldi air mata dia.kekeke

walopon kami bukan kembar original,
bg sy,dia tetap kembar sy...

:minta maaf,entri lalutan ini hanya kerana sy rindu kembar sy. hehe

energizer

salam.

                                                                                       

i love
the hot sun.

blinding
yet refreshing.

energizing















making my further steps
stronger
firmer

on this ground called life.