Shame on me...

Salam
_____________________________________________________________________

every morning of my final paper
i always got this nervous breakdown.
freaking out about what will be asked out in those papers..
and what if i couldn't answer even a single one of it..
what if i failed this year?
what if that..
what if this..

yeah, looking at my preparation of study, i really should be having that...
last-minute-studying it is..
i know, bad me, bad me..

each times,i always pray to God
requesting that may in this time of exam, i will have questions that i have read on,
or at least I've done the past year of it,
and every time He surprises me a sweet surprise.
esp when I'm freaking out the most,
however believe me, nearly every time, the reality goes way far beyond my imagination.
the questions i mean, it really goes off from what I've expected..
like i expect the Qs would be long essays of the things that i haven't covered but then it turned out to be just a simple matching up of phrases.
can you imagine how happy i am,

i don't say i could answer all of it, with flying colors, no..
but at least it is of a little help to me..
and to my and your amazement this has happen many times before,
esp when i least prepare for my exam...
T____T (touched!)

and being in this kind of situation, i think it's really appropriate ( more of a must i think) for me to show my gratitude by starting to prepare, i mean study earlier for the next paper right?
but then, that's what I'm ashamed of myself right now...
i never learn from mistakes,from graciousness given by God.
that effort of showing gratitude,i never did.
He is gracious enough towards me all this time, even THIS time around,
but me,why i kept studying last-minute,
why i couldn't discipline myself.
and shame on me..

thank you Allah,
indeed You never leave your believer...
and deeply I'm grateful for everything that I've had all my life..

Syukr Lillah~